Realization
by Poohbear181176
Summary: Carter realizes that he isn't with the love of his life. 110% CARBY. First time fanfic writer so BIG THANKS 4 the reviews.
1. Realization

Abby continued to get better. Carter was impressed by her ability to look her recovery, in the face and face it head on. He had gone back to work now, but at every opportunity and on every break he had, he went up to see his Abby. He loved the thought at being able to be call her his Abby.  
  
Everyone in the hospital had accepted them together now. Even Luka had given them his best wishes and Abby just seemed to glow with happiness.  
  
Carter and Abby were waiting for news that Abby could be discharged. They sat in silence. Carter's hand lay gently upon Abby's leg as they waited in silence. Abby loved the fact that they could sit in silence together. There were never any awkward silences. They had an understanding that she had never felt with anyone else before. They had, had it when they had been the best of friends, but now they had made the move into something more, the silences seemed more complete. More like they were completely at one.  
  
Romano, came bursting into Abby's room!!!  
  
"Well then nurse Lockhart, it seems you are almost in perfect health again. I have no reason now to keep your pretty face in these halls a moment longer. The next time we see you in here, it shall be when you are working. So make sure you take enough time off to make sure you are fit and well."  
  
"Thanks Dr.Romano" said Abby. "Thanks for everything" Abby began to well up with tears.  
  
"Now, now little nurse, you know that i am adverse to public affections, but thanks anyway. And make sure you look after her Dr.Carter." winked Romano as he left the young couple alone.  
  
"Well then" said Abby. "I need you to order me a taxi John. Would you come back to my apartment with me? I'm a little scared." Abby looked at Carter with a fear in her eyes that just made him want to cry.  
  
"Abby, have you listened to a word I have said? You, my love are never, ever going to be on your own again. I am not and will not leave you on your own. You're going to be in that wheelchair for a while. And besides Gamma and I have already decided and arranged a beautiful room with us. We have a nurse for you while I am working and beside Gamma has cancelled all her social engagements for a month, so she can be with you. She is really excited. She can't wait to get to really know the woman that her Grandson adores"  
  
Abby burst into tears.  
  
"Abby don't cry. Everything will be okay from now. I promise" And with this he scooped her up into his arms. She buried her face in his neck and murmurred, "If your sure, John? I would love to"  
  
"I am sure." She looked into his eyes and held his stare for a moment. "I love you John Carter" "I love you," said Carter. And with this his lips touched hers and they both melted into a kiss. It seemed to go on forever until someone interrupted them.  
  
"Oh, sorry to interrupt you both, but I have good news from Dr. Romano of all people" said Weaver.  
  
"Hi Kerry" said Carter. "So tell us"  
  
They both looked at Weaver, excited but also nervous at the same time, waiting for her news.  
  
"Well, it seems that Dr.Romano, has had a personality transplant" laughed Weaver. "He has decided, that you, Dr.Carter, you lucky thing, are to have the next two weeks off work, making sure the lovely nurse Abby, is settled and well. I really do not know what has got into him.. But seriously Carter, look after her and make sure she has everything she wants. And as for you Abby, I do not want to see you in this hospital, until you are fully recovered and well again. And that is my final word." With this Weaver left the room, the both of them speechless.  
  
"Oh my god, John I cant believe it. I am so glad, happy and excited"  
  
"Enough of that Abby. Don't excite yourself too much. I am going to ring Gamma, finish my shift and I'll be back in a couple of hours to take you home, ok? So be packed" Carter kissed her on the cheek and was almost out of the door.  
  
"John?" Carter turned round. "I like the idea of US going home."  
  
Carter ran back to her, gave her the most passionate kiss and said "Me too. We/Us are going home"  
  
As she watched him walk out of the door she couldn't have had a bigger smile on her face. She just hoped that everything that Carter had said to her, would happen. Abby couldn't bare the thought of anymore pain. 


	2. Realization - Chapter 2

John drove up to the Carter residence. He felt better knowing that Gamma would sort his head out. Whatever she said he knew it would be for the best. She wasn't like his parents. She didn't try to dictate what happened with his life. She just loved him and supported him.  
  
He walked into the kitchen, poured himself some cold water and realised he hadn't eaten today, so decided to make himself a sandwich. " Hello John, my darling. How are you?" She said placing a kiss on his cheek. "I've been better Gamma" "John tell me, is it Abby? You barely speak of her anymore. And you never bring her over and I miss her" John turned round to her. A tear rolled down his cheek. "I miss her Gamma. I have been so stupid" " I know how you feel about her John. And I know how she feels about you. I see it in your eyes, in your faces and in both of you hearts. Why have you never done anything about it?" "Timing, I guess. First there was Luka, and then I didn't listen to her and believe her when she said she was over him and had ended it with him because she wanted to be with me. Then it was so awkward for so long. And that killed me inside. It took time but we became friends again, like we were before. Soul mates. I realised then just how much I loved her. I didn't tell her again, as I thought it was unfair of me. I didn't want to hurt her. I would never intentionally hurt Abby, Gamma." Gamma looked at the pain and love her Grandson was feeling, and it crushed her to see him like this. "As my love grew again, I don't know why I say grew again, as it never really went anywhere, it just was hiding I guess, I didn't know what to do. I couldn't tell anyone. I grew close to Susan, but never confided in her about Abby. Then one night I got drunk with her, as I was so blue about Abby. Foolishly, I never told her why I was so sad. And never resisted when she kissed me. We went back to her apartment and I fell asleep there. I never slept with her. I couldn't, I still haven't months on. I went home and at work Susan came over to me in front of everyone and kissed me. She assumed we were together and for some unknown reason I didn't even have the strength to say otherwise. Besides everyone at work had seen this. I didn't see Abby that day, but no one must have told her because she caught up with me as I sat by the river on our bench. It had always been our place, where we went to chat, catch up, confide in each other. She told me that she loved me. That she always had and foolishly I told her I was with Susan and I loved her. She told me to be happy and since that day I have wanted to die. I don't know why I just didn't tell her how I feel"  
  
"John, you have to tell her. She deserves to know. You cant live a lie, it will kill you inside. I know you belong together. Susan isn't for you. But she doesn't deserve to be lied to either"  
  
" I know Gamma, I know. It's just how do I tell her. I am sure Susan will understand in the end. But apart of me doesn't even care about how she feels. I just need to be with Abby. I need her to know how much I need her. How I love her and want to spend the rest of my life making her happy. I want to marry her, have kids with her. Grow old with her"  
  
"And that you will John. But if you don't tell her now, you risk the chance of losing her forever. If that happens you will never forgive yourself. And come to think of it, neither will I. I want you to marry her and give me great grandchildren."  
  
"Do you think that she will understand?"  
  
" I know she will. After everything you have both been through, it will all be okay in the end. Trust me"  
  
"Thanks Gamma, I knew that you would help me. I will speak to her tomorrow"  
  
"Good man. Now go to bed and as soon as you have both sorted things out, I want you to bring her round for tea."  
  
"Night Gamma, see you in the morning"  
  
John went upstairs to bed. He lay there for hours and finally drifter off into a world of sleep that just revolved around him and his precious Abby.  
  
John awoke to the blaring sound of his alarm. The first thoughts of him came to Abby. He had his breakfast then made his way to work.  
  
He opened the door to his locker and put his in his coat. Someone called out his name. He turned around to see Susan there.  
  
"Hey Carter. How are you today?"  
  
"Hey Susan. I'm really good. Look are you on now. I'm not on for another half an hour and I really could do with a chat. It's very important"  
  
" I've been on since four so I guess I am due a break. Come on lets go to Magoos for coffee."  
  
Carter and Susan sat in Magoos and ordered coffee. "Look Susan" began Carter" I have never meant to hurt you or not be a friend but.."  
  
Carter went on to tell Susan everything he had said to Gamma. She sat in silenced as he told her of his and Abby's history. Of there missed opportunities and his love for her.  
  
"You should have told me sooner. If it was any one else I'd feel a fool John. Thanks for telling me and being honest. You could have told me sooner but I understand. I think?. You should tell how you feel. Tell her how desperately in love with her you are and cant live without her."  
  
Carter laughed. "Thanks Susan. You're a good friend" They both hugged, paid then left to go back into the ER.  
  
Carter had been on for almost two hours now and had yet to see Abby. He knew she should have been on before him and just couldn't understand why he had not seen her. Surely she couldn't have avoided him for this long?  
  
"Kerry, Have you seen Abby, I haven't seen her today?" asked Carter.  
  
"Funny you should say that, but we have been trying to call her and she hasn't answered. She hasn't called in sick and to be honest I am very worried. It is very unlike Abby"  
  
Carter's heart sank. Where was she? Was she okay? Oh god had she relapsed? Was it her mum? He didn't want to think bad things. Maybe she had slept in? But surely she would have heard the phone?  
  
"Kerry, we are really quiet today and I know I shouldn't ask, but please could I go and check on her? I wont be long, I will drive and be back in no time?"  
  
"Okay Carter, I know she's your friend. Go and see if she is at home and if she is, why the hell she hasn't rang in or answered her phone?" Kerry winked at him as he walked away. She knew the young Doctor had feelings for Abby. 


	3. Realization - Chapter 3

John pulled up to Abby's building and got out of his car. He ran up the stairs to her apartment. He knocked on the door and it opened on him. He felt sick, he knew something wasn't right. He didn't want to go in to her apartment, but knew he had to. He walked in to the living room but couldn't see anything. But oh god, as he stepped further in he saw her feet. She was in between the kitchen door and living room. "Abby" She didn't respond. He ran up to her but as he did so the sight that met him made him want to be sick. He couldn't believe it.  
  
Abby was lay face down. Her arm was in an awarked position and he could tell it was broken and probably her wrist as well. She had a large wound on her head that was bleeding all over the floor. He thought he had never seen so much blood. He moved her hair so he could see her face and gasped in horror. He nose was broken and her face filled with bruises and cuts. He went to feel her pulse and tears ran down his face when he could barley feel one. "Oh my god. Please, please be okay Abby, you're my life."  
  
He knew that it would take too long for an ambulance, so carefully, and quickly he gently picked her up. He ran down the stairs and laid her in the back of his jeep. "Stay with me Abby, it's me John, i'm going to make everything better." He picked up his cell phone. "Frank, its Carter. Get Weaver for me.. Look Frank just shut up and get her NOW"  
  
"Kerry, Its John, Please help me. I'm on my way to you. I've got Abby. She hurt. Hurt real bad. Meet outside the ER, with everyone you can get. I don't have time to explain Kerry, I'll be there in five"  
  
Carter sped through the streets of Chicago and up to the doors of the ER, where the staff were waiting for them.  
  
Carte picked up Abby and lay her on the stretcher, where Weaver, Luka, Susan and some others whisked her away. Carter stood for a second and held his head in his hands. He knew that if had been with her, this wouldn't have happened, as they would have been together, always. He snapped back into reality and ran into the ER. He walked into the room where they were treating Abby. Carter stood still with shock. Then he knew that he had to be shock out of it to help her. He put on some gloves and tried to assist.  
  
"Carter, we've got this," shouted Kerry.  
  
"I can help her Kerry, I need to help her"  
  
"Carter, I mean it step back. You are on shock; you can't help her in the state you are in. Get out for now" He knew she was right but desperately wanted to help her.  
  
He stood outside staring in at the love of his life. Deb came up to him. "I just heard, is she okay?"  
  
" I don't know Deb, I don't understand who would do this to her. I love her you know; I've always loved her. Just been too stupid to make things work. What if..?" Carter broke down and cried. Cried for Abby, for himself, for how much love he had for her. He needed her to know.  
  
"I know Carter. I've always known and I'm sure that Abby knows it as well."  
  
"I doubt that Deb, I keep hurting her. Well not anymore. I'm going to show her just how much I love her."  
  
Carter looked on as Luka grabbed the crash panels.."Clear.."  
  
Carter couldn't watch. He ran outside and sank to the floor in tears.."Please please god if your really there, don't take her away from me"  
  
Carter sat for what seemed like hours and yet was only minutes. Kerry came out to him, in what was obvious distress. Oh god thought Carter. "Please Kerry, tell me she's going to be okay?"  
  
"There were a lot of complications Carter, but we have managed to stabilize her for now. She's on her way to surgery. She has massive internal bleeding, a fractured skull, lower back injuries, a broken arm, wrist and a broken nose. John, I'm sorry but she could be brain damaged. We don't know. We can only pray for her. I'm sorry."  
  
"I need to see her. I have to see her." "Of course. Hurry John and we'll catch her"  
  
They sped into the ER; Abby was already upstairs, where they were prepping her for surgery.  
  
The rest of the staff watched in dismay, as Carter ran through the ER in tears.  
  
"Why is he so upset over Abby?" said Frank. They all turned to Frank in shock at the comment; everyone knew they were best friends.  
  
Susan broke the silence. "Because he is in love with her Frank. He's in love with her and she with him". Everybody nodded in agreement. Luka walked into the lounge, where Susan ran after him.  
  
"Are you okay Luka?" "Yeah, I knew they were in love. Its just I still love her and cant believe this has happened to her. I never ever wanted bad things for Abby, only Good. Even if it wasn't to be with me."  
  
"I know Luka, just be strong" she said placing a hand on his shoulder, where she pulled him into her arms. And let him cry.  
  
Carter sat by Abby's side. She looked so small and frail. So tiny and innocent. Her face was bruised and battered and he barley recognised her. He held her hand up to his face and cried on it. "Oh my darling Abby, please don't leave me, it can't be too late for us. We are meant to be together. We really are. I love you and when you come out of this I am going to marry you, look after you and make everyday the best of your life. I promise. I promise"  
  
"Dr.Carter, we have to take her now" said Romano. "I will do everything in my power to save her and make everything okay. I promise, Lizzy and I will. Just sit tight John"  
  
Carter watched them wheel her away and for the first time since Bobby was ill, he prayed. 


	4. Realization - Chapter 4

Carter sat by Abby's side. She looked so small and frail. So tiny and innocent. Her face was bruised and battered and he barley recognised her. He held her hand up to his face and cried on it. "Oh my darling Abby, please don't leave me, it can't be too late for us. We are meant to be together. We really are. I love you and when you come out of this I am going to marry you, look after you and make everyday the best of your life. I promise. I promise"  
  
"Dr.Carter, we have to take her now" said Romano. "I will do everything in my power to save her and make everything okay. I promise, Lizzy and I will. Just sit tight John"  
  
Carter watched them wheel her away and for the first time since Bobby was ill, he prayed.  
  
Carter felt a hand on his shoulder. He looked up, it was Gamma. "Oh Gamma, he sobbed, who would do this. What am going to do. I could have stopped this. It is all my fault." cried Carter as he broke down in his Grandmother's arms.  
  
"Now, now John. Stop being so selfish, thinking of yourself. Think of the poor girl and how she is. You need to be so strong for her. All your energy needs to go into her recovery. And when she comes out, she will move in with us. We will give her 24 hours a day care. The best money can by. We will be her family."  
  
"But Gamma, even is she pulls through surgery, who is to say she will forgive me and accept me?"  
  
"John you are being selfish again. You will be here every day and show and prove your love. And she will know this. We will make her better. I promise" Gamma hoped and prayed that this would come true.  
  
Carter had fell asleep waiting for her. At the last count she had been in surgery for 8 hours. He was praying.  
  
"Carter" Carter sprang awake.  
  
"She's a tough young girl, Carter. We lost her twice in surgery, but we got her back. We stopped the internal bleeding. I think there should be no problems there, although she lost her spleen. We set her arm and wrist. Her nose can be reset at later date, as you know. Her back looks fine to me, just severe bruising, which will go over time.. Its just..." Romano tailed off...  
  
"Just tell me Romano"  
  
"We can't tell for a few days whether or not she has any brain damage. Her brain is swollen, but that means nothing for the moment. We can't do a scan till it has reduced in swelling. Then we will know the full extent of the damage. She's had enough oxygen so I am hoping for the best. Until the swelling has gone down we will keep her sedated and then we can hope for the best. Pray Carter Pray"  
  
"Thanks Romano, I owe you one" "Wait and see Carter, wait and see"  
  
Romano left the young doctor and hoped that he would be calling in that favour. He really hoped that the pretty nurse, would get better.  
  
  
  
Carter, quietly went into the room where Abby was lay. She looked so pale. So quiet, he checked to see her chest moving up and down. "Oh Abby, baby. Please wake up soon. I will look after you. Me and Gamma. Forever. We will smother you with love. I'll never leave you, never. I want you to be my wife. You're my one true love. " Carter, sat and cried, for everything that should have been and wasn't. He fell asleep where he sat. Exhausted and emotionally drained.  
  
Kerry watched Carter from outside the room. She desperately hoped that Abby would pull through this. She wanted a happy ending for Carter and Abby. She, the ER, would give them all their support. Carter would have all the time he needed. She left to go and tell the other staff how Abby was. 


	5. Realization - Chapter 5

Carter was sat in Abby's room. He looked tired unshaven. Pale. He couldn't eat, he didn't want to eat. Abby had been unconscious for 11 days now and he was out of his mind with worry. The only times he went home was to get changed and even then he insisted that Gamma, or Kerry or even Luka sat with her. He would never let her be alone. Never. He spoke to her, sang to her, told jokes to her, read papers to her. She had, had scan 3 days ago and it had shown the swelling had gone down and that she had normal, strong brain signals. Romano assured Carter that everything was going to be okay, just it would take time for her to wake. She was still on morphine and Carter knew in cases like these, it was normal not to awake straight away. The trauma, would often make patients sleep. And Carter felt relived with this, as, he knew that this wasn't a coma.  
  
He sat watching her. It was dark but the small light on in her room lit her pale face. Her bruises were going and he was beginning to see her beauty come through. He lay his head on the side of her bed. His head just touching her leg.  
  
"John." Cried a tiny voice. Carter jumped up and looked at Abby. Her eyes slightly open."Thankgod your awake. Let me get someone" He got up to go. "No John, stay". "Hi Angel, keep still now. Do you know where you are?" "I'm at work? How am I here. I don't remember anything. What happened?" Tears ran down her face, which in turn ran down Carters face. "Why are you crying John? What wrong?" "I thought I had lost you Abby. I am never ever leaving you again. Im going to look after you" "But your with Susan, you cant..ooohh I feel ill.. so much pain in my body John" "Abby, its okay. Your neighbour attacked you Abby, I came to find you to tell you I loved you. I told Susan and came to find you. And I found you. You had been beaten and I thought I had lost you."  
  
"John, please leave me. I need to sleep, I'm so very tired. I need to think about this. But I cant now. I don't know if you can hurt me again." "But I wont I promise.." "John if you care, you'll go and see me when I say. Leave.." She turned her head away from him and he walked out of the door in tears. What he didn't see was Abby sobbing herself back to sleep.  
  
Carter went home where his Grandmother told him to give her time. She had almost died, had major surgery and needed to get well before anything else. Carter understood. He went to bed that night and for the first time in 11 nights slept soundly. He knew that even if she didn't want him, at least she was alive and would recover.  
  
Carter was sat in Abby's room. He looked tired unshaven. Pale. He couldn't eat, he didn't want to eat. Abby had been unconscious for 11 days now and he was out of his mind with worry. The only times he went home was to get changed and even then he insisted that Gamma, or Kerry or even Luka sat with her. He would never let her be alone. Never. He spoke to her, sang to her, told jokes to her, read papers to her. She had, had scan 3 days ago and it had shown the swelling had gone down and that she had normal, strong brain signals. Romano assured Carter that everything was going to be okay, just it would take time for her to wake. She was still on morphine and Carter knew in cases like these, it was normal not to awake straight away. The trauma, would often make patients sleep. And Carter felt relived with this, as, he knew that this wasn't a coma.  
  
He sat watching her. It was dark but the small light on in her room lit her pale face. Her bruises were going and he was beginning to see her beauty come through. He lay his head on the side of her bed. His head just touching her leg.  
  
"John." Cried a tiny voice. Carter jumped up and looked at Abby. Her eyes slightly open."Thankgod your awake. Let me get someone" He got up to go. "No John, stay". "Hi Angel, keep still now. Do you know where you are?" "I'm at work? How am I here. I don't remember anything. What happened?" Tears ran down her face, which in turn ran down Carters face. "Why are you crying John? What wrong?" "I thought I had lost you Abby. I am never ever leaving you again. Im going to look after you" "But your with Susan, you cant..ooohh I feel ill.. so much pain in my body John" "Abby, its okay. Your neighbour attacked you Abby, I came to find you to tell you I loved you. I told Susan and came to find you. And I found you. You had been beaten and I thought I had lost you."  
  
"John, please leave me. I need to sleep, I'm so very tired. I need to think about this. But I cant now. I don't know if you can hurt me again." "But I wont I promise.." "John if you care, you'll go and see me when I say. Leave.." She turned her head away from him and he walked out of the door in tears. What he didn't see was Abby sobbing herself back to sleep.  
  
Carter went home where his Grandmother told him to give her time. She had almost died, had major surgery and needed to get well before anything else. Carter understood. He went to bed that night and for the first time in 11 nights slept soundly. He knew that even if she didn't want him, at least she was alive and would recover.  
  
Abby awoke the next morning to the sun streaming in on her face. She had no idea, how long she had been in the hospital. She turned her head to find Luka sat beside her. "Hello Abby, You look so much better. How are you? Are you in pain? Can I get you anything? Do you need anything?" "Luka..ssshhhh. I feel okay. I don't remember anything?" Luka tried to fill her in without giving her too much information that could hurt her or make her cry.  
  
Abby lay and listened to what Luka told her. She knew it was Brian that had beaten her up. She wasn't surprised. She felt tired and emotional, she was in a lot of pain but didn't tell Luke, and she didn't want anyone to worry anymore.  
  
"Abby, are you in pain?" He knew she looked uncomfortable and so desperately wanted to help her. She looked so tiny lay in her bed. He had seen so many people in his career in this hospital, hooked up to monitors. He knew as a Doctor, you got used to this sight. But not Abby. Not the small helpless woman sat in front of him who he loved so.  
  
"I'm fine Luka" lied Abby. "Please just talk to me a while. Tell me how everyone is"  
  
Luka smiled to himself as he knew this was typical of Abby to think of others before herself.  
  
"Abby, I am going to leave you now, so you can sleep. You are still so very ill. You need to sleep as much as you can, now. It will do you good, your in intensive care Abby. You are very poorly" said Luka as he watched Abby close her eyes with the sound of his voice. "Luka, I will. Tell me, please, I have to ask you. Why was Carter here when I woke up?"  
  
"He has been here since he brought you in here. He hasn't slept, but here, he has hardly left your side. When he carried you in here, he broke down in front of every single person in here. He didn't care who saw him. When he did go home to wash and change, he always left someone by your side. His Grandmother.." Abby smiled at the thought of Carter's grandmother. She really liked her. "Kerry, Me, Susan.People he knew loved you"  
  
"Susan" "Yes, I hate to say this but he told her the day before he found you that it was you that he loved, that he had been a fool, that you were the only woman that would make him happy and that if it meant being alone forever, he would rather be than live without you. She understood and urged him to tell you. He planned to the day he found you, but when you didn't turn in, he went looking for you and well. Anyway, no matter what I think of him and the way he feels about you and whether or not you care for him, and I know you do Abby, the man has been a rock. He loves you and has never left your side. I'm going now, you have to sleep, but when you are better, tell him how you feel. Bite the bullet and be happy, because with Carter you will be. See you in the morning beautiful" Luka leant down and lightly kissed her forehead, as she closed her eyes shut. 


	6. Realization - Chapter 6

Carter awoke early next morning. He showered and got changed then had breakfast with his Grandmother.  
  
"Gamma, what should I do? Should I go to see her or wait until she asks for me?"  
  
"You should wait until she asks for you. She will be very tired and needs to sleep to gain her strength. She will be confused and have so many questions that she needs answering. She will ask for you honey. I know she will. Trust Me."  
  
"Okay Gamma, but this will cheer her up" John picked up his phone. "Hello, this Dr. Carter here. I'd like your biggest bunch of flowers delivery to County hospital for a Abby Lockhart. No, cost doesn't matter! Your biggest and most beautiful."  
  
"The card..oh yes. I'd like it to say.To Abby, may these flowers make you smile, as you begin your road to recovery. I hope you like them but know that they could never be as beautiful as you are. I can't wait to see you. Be strong Angel and know, that so many people love you, especially me. All my love, John."  
  
Gamma walked away smiling and hope that this new day would bring hope and happiness for her Grandson.  
  
  
  
The sun shinning in upon Abby's face awoke her early. At first she barely recognised where she was, but then the realization of her traumatic experience hit her. She sobbed quietly to herself. She pulled herself together when she heard someone coming through her door.  
  
"Hey Abby" It was Susan. She was carrying THE biggest bunch of flowers she had ever seen.  
  
"Susan, you shouldn't have, really."  
  
"I'd like to take the credit Abby for these, but I cant. And can bet you $100 that I know who they are off though!"  
  
Abby motioned for Susan to bring them over to her. She smelled the flowers and got lost in the beauty of the smell. She picked up the card.  
  
"I'll go and get you a vase"  
  
Abby read the card. Her tummy doing back flips inside of her, or that's how it felt anyway. She knew that she loved Carter more than any man who walked on this earth, but so afraid that if they made the change and were to be together, it would all be different. That if it ended at all, that she would lose her best friend. Her life.  
  
Susan walked in and heard Abby sigh. "What's wrong honey?"  
  
"You of all people do not want to hear what is wrong, honestly!" "Abby, please, if this is about Carter, it really is okay. If it had gone on any longer, I would have been mad. At him though, not you. But he told me the truth. He said it how it is. God, Abby, the man is crazy about you. Desperately in love. It has killed him not being with you and it has killed him seeing you in pain. He loves you and I'm pretty sure you feel the same way. Anyway, I am kind of wanting first option as a maid of honour!!!" Susan laughed at her self.  
  
"Susan, could you get him for me. Tell him we need to talk. I told him not to come back till I said. And, well, I need to see him"  
  
"No problem sweetie. He'll be here in no time" Susan kissed Abby on her forehead and left to find Carter.  
  
  
  
  
  
Carter lay a lounger in the grounds of the Carter mansion. He felt peaceful knowing that Abby was going to be okay. If Abby decided that if she didn't want him he would be okay, it would hurt, but he would deal with it. He had promised himself this, every day that he had lay beside her in the hospital and prayed for her to wake up.  
  
"Master Carter, Sir. There is a telephone call for you. Its Dr.Lewis phoning from the ER."  
  
"Thank you" said Carter. "Hello Susan. How are you? Is everything okay?"  
  
Carter heard what Susan had said and ran out of the house, grabbing his house keys as he went. "She wants to see me," he yelled.  
  
Carter drove as fast as he could to County. He ran through the ER and up to Abby's room as fast as he could.  
  
He turned the door handle, very slowly, full of nerves and walked into her room. She was sleeping soundly. He sat next to her and watched her sleeping. His breath was taken away at the beauty of her. She was so pretty. He was amazed at how she affected him. How she had the ability to make him smile, laugh and even cry. She had shared every emotion with him and he loved every one. He had missed her. Everything about her. He loved watching her sleep. She looked a picture of innocence. And every time he saw her it was like he was doing so for the first time.  
  
Abby opened her eyes and saw Carter looking at her. He smiled at her and she blushed. "Hey Carter. Its so good to see you."  
  
"And it's so lovely to see you Babe" said Carter, as he kissed her on her forehead. 


	7. Realization - Chapter 7

"How are you feeling? Are you in any pain? Should I get you a nurse? Do you need more meds? What can I get for you?" asked Carter.  
  
"Carter, I'm fine, I promise. I have a little pain but it's to be expected"  
  
"Well, I your sure I can't get you anything."  
  
"To be honest Carter, I am just glad to see you. I've missed you."  
  
"You have no idea, how good it feels to hear you say that Abby. I have never felt so scared in my whole life, than I have waiting for you to wake up. I thought I had lost you, forever. And it scared me."  
  
"You can't get rid of me that easily Carter." said Abby. "Thank you for the beautiful flowers, they made me smile."  
  
"Any time Angel. I promised myself that when you woke up I would bring you flowers every day. I have missed you more that I could ever tell you."  
  
"I know. Yesterday, when I asked you to leave, I did because I needed to think. I didn't mean to push you away. I needed to think. When the man of your dreams, the man you love tells you he loves you back, it kind of throws you, you know."  
  
A huge smile appeared on Carter's face. He couldn't believe that, the love of his life. His soul mate, loved him back. He stood up to Abby, and cupped her face with his hands.  
  
"Abby, I know I have been a fool and things, well are timing has never been right, but I have loved you since the day that I first laid my eyes upon you. You are my soul mate. My one true love. I will never let you down again. I will never, never leave you. I want to be in your life forever. I want to wake up to your beautiful face each morning. I want to kiss away your fears, love away any pain you have but most importantly I want to make your days full of love happiness and most of all fun. I love you. Always have. Always will. You have me Abby, to have and to hold forever." And with this, he lent down and just brushed her lips with his. She sighed.  
  
"And I love you John"  
  
Carter smiled. He loved her calling him John. He leant into her again and they both fell into a more passionate and lustful kiss.  
  
"Well, John Carter, I hope there will be more kisses like that."  
  
"Of course, baby. Every day and more" Carter giggled.  
  
Abby held out her hand and cupped Carters face and brought him in for another more passionate kiss.  
  
Carter sat beside her and leant his face against her stomach. Abby stroked his hair and they sat in silence. Both of them knowing that everything was going to be okay.  
  
Thanks so much to all of you who have reviewed my fix so far. I have felt extremely nervous loading my story. So many of you out there post fantastic faces. It's great to see such imagination in a world that is sometimes so cruel and filled with pain. It is good for ER fans(all over the world), whoever your favourite characters are, to be able to share out there fantasies and get lost for a few minutes in the stories.  
  
I have great ideas on how to make this story go and where it can take them. Please let me know if you would like me to carry on?  
  
Also, I am very depressed that I live in England. God knows when we will get the new series of ER and it's killing me. I keep reading spoilers and I know by the time it comes on television here, I will already know what has happened (Scripts will be discussed on the internet, I won't be able to resist). Why we can't get NBC here is beyond me. So until we have the new series over here, I will be writing and reading fanfic's.  
  
Love to you all.Sarah.xxx 


	8. Realizatio - Chapter 8

Abby continued to get better. Carter was impressed by her ability to look her recovery, in the face and face it head on. He had gone back to work now, but at every opportunity and on every break he had, he went up to see his Abby. He loved the thought at being able to be call her his Abby.  
  
Everyone in the hospital had accepted them together now. Even Luka had given them his best wishes and Abby just seemed to glow with happiness.  
  
Carter and Abby were waiting for news that Abby could be discharged. They sat in silence. Carter's hand lay gently upon Abby's leg as they waited in silence. Abby loved the fact that they could sit in silence together. There were never any awkward silences. They had an understanding that she had never felt with anyone else before. They had, had it when they had been the best of friends, but now they had made the move into something more, the silences seemed more complete. More like they were completely at one.  
  
Romano, came bursting into Abby's room!!!  
  
"Well then nurse Lockhart, it seems you are almost in perfect health again. I have no reason now to keep your pretty face in these halls a moment longer. The next time we see you in here, it shall be when you are working. So make sure you take enough time off to make sure you are fit and well."  
  
"Thanks Dr.Romano" said Abby. "Thanks for everything" Abby began to well up with tears.  
  
"Now, now little nurse, you know that i am adverse to public affections, but thanks anyway. And make sure you look after her Dr.Carter." winked Romano as he left the young couple alone.  
  
"Well then" said Abby. "I need you to order me a taxi John. Would you come back to my apartment with me? I'm a little scared." Abby looked at Carter with a fear in her eyes that just made him want to cry.  
  
"Abby, have you listened to a word I have said? You, my love are never, ever going to be on your own again. I am not and will not leave you on your own. You're going to be in that wheelchair for a while. And besides Gamma and I have already decided and arranged a beautiful room with us. We have a nurse for you while I am working and beside Gamma has cancelled all her social engagements for a month, so she can be with you. She is really excited. She can't wait to get to really know the woman that her Grandson adores"  
  
Abby burst into tears.  
  
"Abby don't cry. Everything will be okay from now. I promise" And with this he scooped her up into his arms. She buried her face in his neck and murmurred, "If your sure, John? I would love to"  
  
"I am sure." She looked into his eyes and held his stare for a moment. "I love you John Carter" "I love you," said Carter. And with this his lips touched hers and they both melted into a kiss. It seemed to go on forever until someone interrupted them.  
  
"Oh, sorry to interrupt you both, but I have good news from Dr. Romano of all people" said Weaver.  
  
"Hi Kerry" said Carter. "So tell us"  
  
They both looked at Weaver, excited but also nervous at the same time, waiting for her news.  
  
"Well, it seems that Dr.Romano, has had a personality transplant" laughed Weaver. "He has decided, that you, Dr.Carter, you lucky thing, are to have the next two weeks off work, making sure the lovely nurse Abby, is settled and well. I really do not know what has got into him.. But seriously Carter, look after her and make sure she has everything she wants. And as for you Abby, I do not want to see you in this hospital, until you are fully recovered and well again. And that is my final word." With this Weaver left the room, the both of them speechless.  
  
"Oh my god, John I cant believe it. I am so glad, happy and excited"  
  
"Enough of that Abby. Don't excite yourself too much. I am going to ring Gamma, finish my shift and I'll be back in a couple of hours to take you home, ok? So be packed" Carter kissed her on the cheek and was almost out of the door.  
  
"John?" Carter turned round. "I like the idea of US going home."  
  
Carter ran back to her, gave her the most passionate kiss and said "Me too. We/Us are going home"  
  
As she watched him walk out of the door she couldn't have had a bigger smile on her face. She just hoped that everything that Carter had said to her, would happen. Abby couldn't bare the thought of anymore pain. 


End file.
